Thursday's are the new Friday

Thursday's are basically the new Friday's. By that I don't mean I work four day weeks. I'm normal.

What I mean is Friday nights are now over-rated. Everyone expects you to go out after work on a Friday and finish the night throwing up an Italian BMT (best Subway sandwich by far!). Thursday nights however are like Christmas eve. You know that something exciting is just around the corner and living in anticipation is far better than the moment itself.

So it's because of that excitement that the walk home on a Thursday is always a happy one. It doesn't matter what happened at work, how much you screwed up or who you killed because tomorrow is Friday and the end of the week. The walk home is a great time to listen to some tunes and dance in my head. When I say in my head, if my limbs actually tend to copy the moves in my head, that's not really my fault. It just means passers by will see me doing this....

Or not. It's more than likely I end up looking like this...

Aww screw passers-by who are jealous of my 'mad skills'. If anyone said anything to me, i'm just throw a chair at them (don't ask me where i'd get the chair from, walking down the street. It's a tenuous link to a pretty funny video!)

 I'm off to the pub quiz.

I hope you have an exciting Thursday evening everyone and may your future's be filled with strange Indian men dancing, chair throwing and resurfacing half digested Italian BMT's!

Birth of a legend (not me!)

It's Muhammad Ali's 70th birthday today and if those grills he made weren't enough to prove what a legend he is (I'm joking. I know it wasn't him that invented the Lean Mean Grilling Machine. It was George Formby), here's a video of him saving a man from a suicide jump

Actually when you watch that and you hear Muhammad Ali call the guy his brother, it's kind of disappointing. No wonder he ran to help when he found out it was his brother who was going to jump! Maybe he's not a legend after all. George Formby on the other hand...

The things we do to pass the time...

How do I pass the time between retiring to my bedroom and going to work? I stay up until ridiculous o'clock (no that's not some kind of Irish timekeeper, I mean I stay up till about 1/1.30amish.......That's am-ish as in 1.30ish, not am-ish like the technologically challenged stars of the Harrison Ford classic Witness) writing blogs, misusing brackets and reminiscing. Awww.

When I was younger I loved to play my Amiga 1200 till the early hours of the morning. Not because I was super cool but because my parents believed a child should develop integrity by having a games console which took staggering amounts of time to load. Who wanted the near instant hits of the Megadrive? I had Frogger (a game which ironically took longer to appear on screen than it actually did to kidnap a frog from the local pond, make it live with you against it's will for several years until it developed Stockholm Syndrome at which point, after some persuasion, it was quite happy to throw itself across the nearest motorway in a mad effort to reach the other side of a river. Albeit a river which it drowned in, if it mistimed its jump from whatever lily pad it was riding on. Who's says computer games are too close to reality?!)

Anyway so I, at the tender age of 16, would toddle off to bed at 6pm to start my Amiga loading for the inevitable gaming session at 1 a.m. (OMG my parents were actually really clever. Buy him a computer that takes ages to load so he goes to bed early?! Genius! More importantly I just used OMG in a sentence. That's embarrassing. I blame my parents).

My point is, if the makers of this video had actually had the foresight to incorporate this kind of technology into the disks back then, it would have made the wait for the game that bit more palatable. Honestly waiting ages for something really average is depressing isn't it? Just ask anyone who has voluntarily read the last four paragraphs in order to get to this video. Fine! Here it is;

How do you pass the time at the early hours of the morning? Well if you're me, you make up slightly exaggerated lies about the loading times of Amiga 1200's. Night all. Night Commodore. Night Frogger.

I'm Barack Obama

You know the kind of day i'm talking about. You're the President of the United States of America, you're being watched by adoring Irish crowds and when you go to leave, your car gets stuck on the security gate.

Yep so that's been my day. Obviously with less Irish people and motorcades but basically the same.

If you think that's bad Obama, at least you've never been mistaken for a drag queen. 

Margaret Thatcher 'mistaken for drag queen'

It's the drag queen I truly feel sorry for to be honest. Imagine being confused with Maggie T. Terrifying. 

On second thoughts, it could be worse. However bad your Monday has been, at least you're not this guy. 

His chances of having a nice garden have been well and truly blown. I'll see myself out....

Depressing (French ironing)

So according to our local radio station, today is supposed to be the most depressing day of the year. I don't have the 'Heart' to tell them they're wrong (Heart....radio station...get it? Of course you do. It just wasn't very funny). According to Wikipedia, the most depressing day of the year is supposed to be next Monday (23rd) and Wikipedia is never wrong about anything.

Every Monday morning, I dream I'll wake up with this kind of enthusiasm for the week....

Instead I end up feeling alot like this guy...

Have a depressing Monday everyone!

Is animal cruelty ever funny?

The simple answer is yes. Well sort of. Take this video for example;

Some people would say that promoting this video on this blog encourages animal cruelty. Some people, after wiping the tears from their eyes, may want to pat me on the back and say it was hilarious. Most will probably do that indifferent shrug that we all like to do when people show us videos on the web ("yeah it was alright")

Is it cruel to show this cat at it's most stupid? If it were a human that got stuck trying to climb into a window, we would all think it was hilarious and salute the fact that a less than savoury character had got their comeuppance on YouTube.

Ok you may argue that animals don't know any different. I can assure you, having owned a Pomeranian that once vindictively ate a whole box of chocolate liqueurs resulting in a hangover the next day, this is simply not true. The greatest trick the animal kingdom ever played was convincing humans that they "don't know any better".

Don't get me wrong, i'm not an evil man. I used to regularly donate money to the Cat's Protection league (albeit because I was under the understanding that it would provide me with feline bodyguards if the occasion ever arose). I just think videos such as the one above are hilarious.

If anyone is still disgusted, here's a "cute" video to counter the one above. Enjoy.

Police fail

Genius. In this guy's defence, police car's aren't the easiest vehicles to identify when they're rapidly approaching you with their blues lights flashing.

My favourite picture of all time

So my favourite picture of all time is this one. I appreciate it's not a painting of a woman with an ambiguous smile ("oh the Mona Lisa is so enigmatic. What does her smile really mean?" It's not mysterious, look closely. She just looks uncomfortable. Da Vinci was probably painting her with his trousers off or something), but for me this sums up the world.

Some people really want to damage society by blowing buildings up or sending you to Rick Astley videos  when all you want to see is the latest Batman trailer. Other people harbour ill feeling towards others but don't really have the ambition to attempt anything dramatic. So they do this. Brilliant. 

Why am I doing this?

So basically on Graham Linehan's advice (we're like that) i've decided to start a blog on things that are particularly funny (when I say we're like that, it doesn't really work if you can't see me doing this finger thing) and as I usually bombard Facebook with videos, pictures etc I thought it would be better to just stick them on here instead (you know the finger thing. When you cross them and say "yeah we're like that") so go ahead and enjoy all the things i've stolen off other websites. And occasionally I might actually use a full stop and have shorter sentences, you never know.