Hello all,
I'm not going to lie. I'm ridiculously tired but that's what happens when you have five hours sleep. In keeping with the theme of expressing myself through pictures of animals, here ya go...
Despite the lack of sleep, I attended my latest Writers Group session tonight, where the theme was "Love".
So I decided to write about two tramps. As you do. Romantic. I know it's 18 pages but it's not that long. I spaced it out for a competition.
As always, read, enjoy, and let me know what you think. About the script. Not tired animals. Comments I got for my last piece ranged from "really good mate" to "yeah it was pretty boring" so don't hold back.
Click here to read "Happy Ending"
OR READ BELOW...
Synopsis
Steve and George are two
elderly gentlemen, sitting on a bench together. Both appear to be homeless but
are they?
George recounts his life
to Steve, on a daily basis. George uses films to remember key events in his
life and slowly we find out how he found himself here.
Characters
George – an elderly,
unkempt, angry man
Steve – an elderly,
unkempt, sweet and oblivious man
Jeff – a young, smart,
care worker who is neither angry, sweet or oblivious but a man nonetheless.
TWO MEN ARE SAT ON A
BENCH AND A PARK IS PROJECTED AGAINST THE BACKDROP. GEORGE
IS WEARING SHABBY CLOTHING AND
IS UNKEMPT. HE HAS A PAPER CUP ON THE GROUND IN FRONT OF HIM. A MAN WALKS PAST AND THROWS SOME CHANGE INTO IT. STEVE SITS
THERE, BLISSFULLY UNAWARE OF
LIFE, AND IS DRESSED IN AN OLD SUIT.
GEORGE
Twenty pence? Is that it? Yeah
that’ll get me....yep
nothing later. THANKS FOR NOTHING
YOU..YOU...TRAMP!
STEVE
I didn’t know you could actually
buy bottles of
nothing...
GEORGE
Did I ever tell you about
Jalandhar?
STEVE
I think you mentioned it
yesterday...
GEORGE
It was such a beautiful city you
know. My parents’ house wasn’t anything special but it was home.
STEVE
I’ve never been to Spain
GEORGE
It’s in India Steve. Did you
think I was Spanish?
STEVE
Well your name is George
GEORGE
Oh and that’s Spanish is it
Steve?!
STEVE
It’s not that Indian
GEORGE
Well it’s not my original name...
STEVE
I thought it was pronounced
"Horge"....
GEORGE
Beautiful city Jalandhar. And the
Golden Temple in
Amritsar. Forget your St Paul’s.
Now the Golden Temple,
that’s a church.
STEVE
Is the Golden Temple a....
GEORGE
I wouldn’t have left you know. I
was only 16 but my brother was told to take me with him. For my own safety apparently.
Don’t ask
STEVE
Actually I didn’t so...
GEORGE
“All the choices we make in our
life are pointless.
There’s no escaping the
inevitable.”
STEVE
Who said that? Socrates?
GEORGE
No, it’s from Hot Tub Time
Machine.
STEVE
Oh...You love films don’t you?
GEORGE
It’s pure escapism Steve. Two
hours away from all of
this. Lights camera action!
STEVE
Two hours? Last film I saw was
like four hours and there were all these athletes and Kenneth Branagh was in it
and it was in a giant stadium. It went on for ages. It was called the opening
ceremony or something rubbish like that. Geeze.
GEORGE
1965 I arrived in this country.
To the Sound of Music. Ironic really. Julie Andrews encouraging the nation to
Climb Every Mountain and the
country agreed. In fact they wanted us to climb any mountain we could as long as
it was back in "our homeland"
STEVE
Oh like the Himalayas. I saw
Michael Palin do that once.
GEORGE
You would have thought a film
about Nazi oppression would have taught them all something but maybe not.
STEVE
It did have nuns in it as well...
GEORGE
And two years later, there it
was. The National Front.
The rivers of blood. Pananas on
the bitch.
STEVE
Do you mean bananas on the pitch?
GEORGE
I know what I mean. You talk like
I have a drinking problem or something!
STEVE
Don’t you?
GEORGE
I wouldn’t say drinking was a
problem!
GEORGE SIPS FROM A PAPER
BAG
STEVE
So what happened then?
GEORGE
You know what happened Steve. I
tell you this story every single day
STEVE
Yeah but I like the way you tell
it. You’re a good storyteller.
GEORGE LOOKS AT THE
PAPER BAG BOTTLE, DISAPPOINTED IN HIMSELF, AND PUTS IT DOWN
NEXT TO HIM
GEORGE
I’d like to say it all died down
but it didn’t. It just got...quieter. I found a job and a place of my own.
Above a cinema, you can imagine
how cool that was...
STEVE
Well compared to this park bench,
I imagine a McDonald’s toilet would be a cool place to live
GEORGE
It was 1974 and I went to see the
Godfather Part Two and truly, it was something else.
STEVE
Tell me about it. It went on
forever that film.
GEORGE
I didn’t want it to stop. Twenty
five and Al Pacino telling me to keep my friends close but my enemies closer
STEVE
I don’t think i’ve got any
enemies you know. Well apart from "the man". Yeah "the man"
hates me.
GEORGE
"I know it was you Fredo.
You broke my heart" I loved
that bit "I know it was you
Jasbir, you broke my heart"
STEVE
Jas who?!
GEORGE
Oh Jasbir, my brother. Ha! If
Michael Corleone didn’t need a brother, neither did I
STEVE
Did you blow yours up in a boat
as well?
GEORGE
Shh! Spoilers. You don’t know
who’s listening to this conversation and might not have seen the Godfather!
STEVE
They’ve had long enough. I pretty
sure it’s been on
ITV4...
GEORGE
Yeah it has. I watched it down
the road, when Currys had their TVs on display in the window.
STEVE
Without the sound?
GEORGE
I know that film off by heart.
STEVE
Yeah i’m the same with the Coco
Pops advert. Every single word.
GEORGE
Just the same Steve. Just the
same. And then when I was in the prime of my life...
STEVE
Optimus prime of your life...
GEORGE
That’s a crap joke. Who told you
that?
STEVE
You. Yesterday.
GEORGE
I’ve got no idea why my memory is
so rubbish these days
GEORGE PICKS UP THE
PAPER BAG BOTTLE AND DRINKS
GEORGE
And then in 1982 she came along
STEVE
Who?
GEORGE
Mahatma Gandhi. Well Ben Kingsley
actually.
STEVE
Ben Kingsley isn’t a woman
GEORGE
I know, and he’s not Indian
either! No she came along.
Tiffany. Her parents were big
Audrey Hepburn fans.
STEVE
Lucky she wasn’t born a boy then.
They would have had to call her I mean him something like...erm....Tif..opher.
GEORGE
She worked with me. At the care
home. She was so sweet you know. Always stayed after hours to make sure the old
dears got their dinners.
STEVE
Dinner sounds like an idea...
GEORGE
I’m telling a story! And then
Gandhi came along...
STEVE
And asked her out instead? Bloody
Kingsley!
GEORGE
The film Gandhi came out and she wanted me to take her.
You know, help her to understand
it all.
STEVE
And did you?
GEORGE
Did I hell! I wasn’t around in
the 1940’s. I vaguely remember my dad trying to tell me about it all but you know.
Memories a funny thing
STEVE
What is?
GEORGE
What is what? Ay? What was I
saying? Yeah so I just made the whole thing up. We saw the film and she loved it.
Made me take her three more times and then after the third time...
STEVE
Breakfast at Tiffanys?
GEORGE
That’s a good one. Who told you
that one?
STEVE
You did. Yesterday
GEORGE
Right. So yeah, breakfast. Then
breakfast and lunch. Then breakfast lunch dinner followed by breakfast again!
STEVE
At the same time? No wonder
you’ve got a belly on you
GEORGE
You know how I knew she was the
one?
STEVE
Because you had a time machine?
GEORGE
Do you think if I had a time
machine Steve I would have let this happen? Do you think I would have lost everything
and ended up with what? A drunk on a park bench
STEVE
I’m not drunk...
GEORGE
Not you, I meant me!
STEVE
But that made no sense....
GEORGE
Shut up! I’m talking about the
one! You know how I knew? Because I cried the night we saw Gandhi. I cried and
remembered home and my mum and dad and it made me sad
STEVE
It is a rubbish film. Complete
fantasy
GEORGE
And being confronted with a
crying, almost thirty year old, on a first date didn’t put her off in the slightest.
She put her arm around me and said "let’s get a drink"
STEVE
And you haven’t stopped since,
ay?!
GEORGE
SHUT UP! Just shut
up...and...shut up you moron!
STEVE
Sorry mate
THERE’S AN AWKWARD
SILENCE. GEORGE TAKES A SWIG FROM HIS BOTTLE BAG
GEORGE
And a year later, two became
three
STEVE
She let you have a threesome?
GEORGE
We had a son. A beautiful boy.
Ben, we called him.
STEVE
As in Kingsley
GEORGE
No as in Kenobi. After that fella
in Star Wars. I’ll always remember as a baby I took him to see Return of the
Jedi and felt so proud. But it was too soon. Things didn’t finish the way I
thought
STEVE
I know right, those Ewoks. Where
did that come from?!
GEORGE
I’ll tell you something about
Star Wars Steve. I know how Darth Vader felt. Okay so he didn’t have a great upbringing
but he tried yeah. He tried. And what did he get? His woman just leaves him.
Because he couldn’t control himself.
STEVE
Well actually she died...
GEORGE
But he moves on from this. Thinks
"screw her, i’ll make a go of things" and takes over the universe.
Not bad, high flier. And when his son is old enough, he offers to let him into
the business. Set him up with a sweet planet or two...
STEVE
Darth Vader was mental though...
GEORGE
And how does Luke thank him? By
doing what all teenagers do and he rebels! Gets a bunch of mates together and
ruins everything his father worked on. And then...and then....he leaves him on
a bloody bench, drinking himself to death talking to some random bloody bloke
every bloody day!
STEVE
I really need to see that film
again. That is not how I remember it ending.
GEORGE
And all because I missed home.
GEORGE LOOKS AT THE BAG
BOTTLE. HE STARES AT IT FOR A MINUTE, GOES TO PUT IT DOWN BUT AT THE
LAST MOMENT TAKES A SWIG FROM
IT. A MAN WALKS PAST AND THROWS
SOME MONEY INTO THE PAPER CUP. GEORGE INSPECTS IT.
GEORGE
Couple of quid. It must be
getting late. That was commuter money
STEVE
Where you off to with that then?
Off licence?
GEORGE
I’ve been meaning to go to the Cineplex
actually. I noticed they were showing The Sound of Music. It’s been a couple of
days but i’m only a quid off now.
STEVE
Here.
STEVE REACHES INTO HIS
POCKET AND GIVES GEORGE A POUND. GEORGE JUST SMILES AND PLACES IT IN
THE CUP. WITH THAT, JEFF, A
YOUNG MAN IN A UNIFORM APPROACHES
STEVE
JEFF
You ready Mr Moore?
STEVE
Jeff, you can call me Steve
JEFF
Sorry Mr Moore...Steve. Shall we
get you back to the home then? I think it might be chops for dinner tonight
STEVE
Lovely stuff. I’ll see you
tomorrow George?
GEORGE
You know where i’ll be. Always
here.
JEFF HELPS STEVE OFF THE
BENCH AND THEY WALK OFF STAGE. GEORGE SITS ON THE BENCH, WAITING FOR
A FEW MOMENTS. NO-ONE ARRIVES
SO HE SITS THERE, SOLUMNLY. THE
LIGHTS SLOWLY GET DARKER.
THE END
